Where To Go When There’s Nowhere To Go.
How to find mental health help in Aotearoa.
Image copyright Ainsley Ds Creative. 2024**This article was published on the 'Shit you Should Care About' website in August 2020. The list of “where to go” has been updated in 2024. I’ve always been the kind of person who needed to have things to look forward to- Goals set in place that I could work towards.
Throughout high school it was starting Uni, throughout Uni it was going
travelling, while I was travelling it was finding somewhere cool to live and when I found somewhere
cool to live, it was endless trips to different destinations every month and building my career as a
creative freelancer. In the past couple of years, I have had two major setbacks which whipped away
the current goals I was working towards leaving me feeling completely stuck and floundering. First, it
was an awful and life-altering break up which came out of the blue when things we’re all heading on
track (that’s another story), and then, like the rest of us, it was the COVID-19 pandemic.
I had just started recovering from my tumultuous relationship and had finally come up with the
perfect plan to work towards again when it was ripped out of view by that bugger of a virus. I was
supposed to be back in Europe, making money doing what I love, seeing the world and road-tripping
through the States with friends I haven’t seen in years. It was a bloody great plan.
In the grand scheme of things, losing almost all my income, the opportunity to hug my friends and
family and summer overseas is not a huge loss. Some people have quite literally lost everything
because of this virus, and I am incredibly lucky not to have children to support, a mortgage to pay
and huge bills to keep up. I am extremely fortunate.
But that hasn’t stopped me from feeling totally stuck. Again. I feel right back to where I was a year
and a half ago. Floundering. With no immediate goals insight that I can tangibly hold on to.
And so, back to square one I am. Attempting to come up with new plans, new goals, running out of
money, work, energy. And like all women in an identity crisis, the only thing I can think of tangibly
doing right now is changing my hair. Surely a new do will fix everything?
How do we move forward when the future is so unknown?
I have considered talking to my local psychic, not because I necessarily believe that she knows the
future, but because she always has a way of making me feel more on track when I leave. And it’s a
hell of a lot cheaper than therapy.
Which leads me to my next major problem… In Aotearoa New Zealand, where do we turn when we are in this
situation? I don’t feel like it’s serious enough to call Lifeline, given my financial situation and lack of
work there’s no way I can afford the $150+ for a psychotherapy session (and why this is not covered by the
government like every other doctor visit is BEYOND me), my family and friends are wonderful but I
still feel like they don’t really ‘get it’.
Where do we go when we are in this floundering stage, not
(yet) dying but desperately struggling for air?
When I went to the GP in the midst of my heartbreak, I was incredibly stressed and I wasn’t sleeping.
When I did sleep, I would have awful nightmares and I had begun having an array of other strange physical
issues (which I later found out to be Meniere’s disease set off by stress). The doctor did some basic
tests, asked me if I was suicidal, I said no (I lied), then prescribed me some melatonin to help me
sleep and advised me to buy a really good bottle of wine and enjoy it with my mum. Let’s be honest,
that was probably the best advice any doctor has ever given me, but I was never offered any help for
the mental issues that were causing my physical ones. I looked into therapy sessions, but I could not
afford them. So, I gave up and attempted to deal with it on my own.
A year and a bit later while feeling somewhat more able to navigate the mental health system, I
started doing some research again, trying to find out where I could possibly go to for help mid-
pandemic with almost no money. It turns out, there are options, you just need to know where to look.
I asked around, scoured the internet, forums, asked mnetal health professionals, friends and family.
This is what I found…
Your GP
Did you know, you can go to your GP to request counselling services for free? Now I’m aware of this,
I’m miffed that my doctor did not offer this to me when I so clearly needed it.
There are good and bad things about this. The bad things being that some people have had
experiences with their GP’s refusing to refer them because they weren’t (yet) suicidal (yes you read
that right) and didn’t think their issues were serious enough to warrant help. The other being that
you can not choose your counsellor, so if like me, you come from a small town and your parents
work in mental health, you don’t have a choice whether or not you might end up with someone who
knows you, which can be an uncomfortable and awkward experience when you want to really delve
deep into your issues. This also means, that if you don’t click with your counsellor, then you’re kind
of stuck with them. On top of this, there are often very long waiting lists. However, this does seem to
vary from place and many people have had a positive experience with the process.
For most, this will be their only option for face to face (or Zoom) sessions. With this option, you will
receive 3-6 free sessions. Extra sessions can then be funded or subsidized by WINZ if you’re on a
benefit. If your GP is not willing to refer you, push back on them, and if not- find someone who will
(and possibly look into changing your doctor). This is not a perfect solution, but it is a start.
Local Women’s Centre
Auckland Women’s Centre has a counsellor on Thursdays and Fridays, and they operate on a sliding
scale starting at $40 if you are a beneficiary and moving up to $80 if you are in the top income
bracket. When I called them, the receptionist was extremely warm and welcoming and really made
me feel like they wanted to help (I cried again after speaking to her). In the end, this was the place
that could get me in the fastest and felt the most welcoming. I had one extremely helpful session
with my counsellor before we went back into lockdown. These sessions have now moved online for
the time being. There are various women’s centres around the country. You can find more information
on each one and the services they provide here.
Home and Family Counselling
I also called Home and Family Counselling (now called Wingspan) based in Auckland which seems like a great option for
those on a budget. They also operate on a sliding scale per income bracket so it’s an affordable
option for everyone. When I called, they had a waitlist of 6-7 weeks, which is okay if you are looking
for a long term solution or care but probably not ideal when you have something that is eating away
at you.
Local University
Another recommendation I received in Auckland was Auckland Therapy which is run by AUT
psychology students. Their standard rate is $50 though you might be eligible for a WINZ subsidy to
cover the cost. I was a little apprehensive about this, but everyone I had talked to who had been was
extremely positive about their experience there.
Life or Mental Health Coaches
These can be a great alternative if therapy also seems a little bit daunting to you. Life coaches are
really good to help you identify your goals and find ways to work towards them. Whereas a mental
health coach addresses areas in your life which you might be struggling in - for example, stress,
anxiety, addiction, depression, low mood or feelings of overwhelm and use a holistic approach to
work on them. I can highly recommend Helen from Onelife who has helped me through quite a few crises over the years!
Tikanga Māori and Pacifica Services
There is a range of regional Pacifica and Māori mental health services listed on Te Aka Whai Ora.
Here you can chose your region and chose the type of care you would like. If you’re in Tairawhiti,
take a look at Te Waharoa Service (previously Te Kuwatawata), which uses indigenous mātauranga
(knowledge/understanding) and ads the principles of relationships and community to traditional western psychiatry.
This reasonably new initiative sets out to connect people who need help with people who can provide it. It acts as a directory service with a long list of every type of help available from addiction problems to a helpline especially for musicians.
https://findahelpline.com/countries/nz
Online Resources & Apps
I personally haven’t yet tried any of these, but I would love your feedback! I think they would be helpful if you’re not feeling the need to talk to a real person but still want some help to sort your shit out. Click on the heading to head straight to the website.
A free online tool to help with problem-based on the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
An interactive website which has a web chat function and online resources on a wide range of issues
around mental wellbeing.
Just A thought, and Melon
Both of these websites offer support and practical strategies to cope with the ongoing stress and
disruption of Covid-19. Melon is a kind of health journal while Just A Thought has an e-therapy
programme called ‘Staying On Track’.
“Co-founded by All Blacks legend and global mental health advocate, Sir John Kirwan, and serial tech entrepreneur,
Adam Clark, Groov applies workplace science, data science, and cutting-edge technology to lift people and performance in workplaces around the world.”
I wish I had known about these budget-friendly resources when I was going through my own hell last
year so that I could have started working on my recovery earlier and perhaps there would have been
a few less overwhelming down days. At the moment, my floundering still persists but the knowledge
that I am working on it already makes me feel like I am taking steps forward into the future, even if
that future still remains unknown.
Aotearoa clearly still has a lot of work to do when it comes to mental health care and prevention. I
personally think all mental health services should be government-funded to prevent people getting
into that downward cycle no matter what your income bracket is. Mental health is just as important
as our physical health, and ironically our physical health is better when we are mentally well too. So
wouldn’t it be beneficial for us all (including taxpayers) to be using preventative methods instead of
being the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff? (Thanks, Helen Duyvestyn for that metaphor.) But
for now, this is what we have got, and let’s make use of it.
So, step away from the packet hair dye and pick up the phone.
x Ainsley.